Funny that I got a piece of great advice from a dad, right? Not so much. He understood the weight of leaving a great legacy to your children. He told me while I was pregnant with Maddie how he wrote letters to each of his children on everyone of their birthdays. His plan was to give them all the letters on their 18th or 21st birthday. What a great idea!
I set out to write them through pregnancy AND through their birthday's, as well. I tucked each letter with care into their baby books. As the years pass, I know I've missed writing those letters on their exact birthday's but I have written them letters each year entailing the various stages of their lives, their friends, their funniest moments or sayings, their likes and dislikes, and some sort of advice from the vantage point of wherever I am in my own life.
This was something I missed as a child and young adult. I never have any reference to go to about what I was like as a child, at least not anything documented besides my baby book. Being adopted, I have TWO moms to thank. I'm sure I wrote about it before even though today I cannot find it. I had a student once ask if I was mad at my birth mother. No one had EVER asked me that question in all the years I've been inquired. I honestly can tell you, as a mom now, that I admire her more than ever. To give up something so precious in order to make their life better whatever her circumstances, wow, that's true love. I'm almost sure I couldn't do it. That alone is an example of one legacy.
So today I wanted to offer you the idea of leaving your kids a token of a mother's love. Write them a letter. Why?
1. Leave your Legacy: leave your beliefs and values, let them get to know who you are down to the core, they will find a sense of self by knowing who you are.
2. Give your kids a voice, especially your daughters. Empower them by letting them know they count.
3. Strengthen bonds: Just by writing to your children now you are strengthening your bond.
4. Family Essence: to keep a family strong. In church yesterday, they gave many examples of great people (presidents) who only had strong women in their lives. Even if it's just you as a mom without a father role in your household, it's absolutely possible to keep your family strong. This is one example.
5. Give thanks. One thing I often tell the girls is that I'm so glad God chose me to be their mom. I am so thankful for each of the girls in my life and tell them often things that I learn from them. This can be a life altering thing for a young child, to know they make a difference no matter where they are in their life or age.
6. Make amends. As moms, we know we are not perfect. We know we make mistakes. We do our very best and do better when we know better. This is the perfect opportunity to show our vulnerability to our kids and let them know we still love them even if we don't have all the answers to life.
7. Keep connected. As your kids read your letters, they will always get to see a glimpse of your personality. It will bring them an everlasting connection to your heart.
8. Words for Growth. Words have the power to heal, allow growth, create a better understanding, to bring closure and to allow or open the door for communication. As a women, I know how important this for my girls.
9. Peace of mind. I know from experience, after writing any letter to the girls, I have a great sense of relief. To give them a tiny glimpse into life at that very moment. It's something that I may never be able to do fifteen years down the road.
10. The perfect gift. Much of the reason that I blog is for the girls. The main reason for writing my book is for the girls. I could care less if I sell one single copy or make any money. I want to leave them my experiences, my lessons, my loves, my disappointments, my hopes, my beliefs and my words. It is a gift that I am certain will make a difference in their lives.
For all of you moms, for all your journeys, heartaches, dreams, struggles and triumphs.....
Happy Mother's Day!
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