Power Struggles

2 girls

1 mom

45 days (note - should be more, but who's counting?)

One of the perks of being a teacher or in the education profession is that I get the same days and holidays off as the girls.

When I first decided to become a teacher I was more focused on changing the world, paying forward what some great teachers did for me, and pursuing a never-ending learning environment. As the first year turned into seven, I decided I wanted to step out of teaching in a typical classroom and do something different.

Now that I have been in my particular job for a year, I begin appreciating different aspects of teachers, students, and education. One of those things is how much I love that I'm usually able to leave work at work. This was not something I did while teaching 150 students each day. I don't bring home people's technology problems with me. Some think I should - but, um, no.

This last year my schedule was flexible enough to be with Maddie on important days at her school. I was able to watch the music program that typical parents weren't allowed into; I was able to see her answer math questions and take spelling tests. She was also able to see me in my work environment, being all professional. I was able to take Avery to preschool and pick her up. I was there for her first day and was able to be there within minutes if she was sick. She definitely needed that little bit of extra time with me each week. I've been so thankful to get to spend these special moments with the girls. It was definitely a God-send job. His timing was perfect.

Then school was out.

YYYYYYYYYYYIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEE!

We ALL needed the break. My 2 1/2 months of summer vacation is one of my favorite things about teaching. Let me break it to you non-educators, though, that find yourselves saying "must be nice to be off that long" - WE AREN'T. This is a little known secret of teachers. Nevertheless, we all do our best to take time off and enjoy the time we get to ourselves to just be us - not Mrs. So-and-So.

The girls and I slept late most days, workout some days, cooked lots of days and enjoyed each other's company ALL days.

We all needed the bonding time and benefited so much from the time to just be and be together.

Then, we turn on the TV or see the newspaper ad: BACK TO SCHOOL

Ugh. Why?! No!

Nevertheless, it's the end of July and I've already been back to work part time 10 business days. Not to mention all the random meetings I had to throw in there before.

The Power Struggle?

I'm sure I'm not alone when I say that we all wish for something to happen in the future:

I can't wait til my kids go to bed w/out getting up a zillion times

I can't wait til my kids are able to cook for themselves

I can't wait til my kids do _____, ______ or ______

A quote that my friend, Andrea, posted on twitter recently has been imprinted on my mind for the past few weeks:

"Sometimes we wait and wait for God to move.

Then when He does, we protest that He's moving too fast." -Beth Moore

I have to stop myself and remember that things WILL move too fast. Life is short. I need to be living in the present and be happy with where we are when we're there.

Even if "there" is our small period of separation anxiety. We all get it. We miss each other like crazy when I have to be gone. They cling a little longer, kiss a little more, and are content just sitting next to me when I get home.

They never see me cry over this. But even as Maddie goes into 3rd grade, I cry. I miss them as much or more than they even know. I rethink this whole "work" thing and always try to come up with that million dollar idea that will land me time at home or the ability to travel with them. As you see, I'm still working on that.

So, for the next few weeks I will struggle with getting up, going to work, leaving the girls, and learning my own lessons. They will struggle to let go a little and learn to fly a little more.