I'm not quite sure, but, truthfully, I get a little more private when I'm pregnant. I'm not sure why, but the hormones make me a different Tisha than I'm use to normally. This could be one reason that I haven't baby blogged yet.
I do NOT like to be limited. Ever.
In any area of my life, you will find that if someone, anyone tells me "you can't" I will do everything in my power to prove them wrong. When someone tells me that statement, it fuels my fire to prove to them and myself that I CAN.
I've been like this ever since junior high school. I had a teacher that told me "you cannot do honors work."
That one teacher has no clue how they shaped my life with that one powerful statement.
Many of the things that I have under my belt is due to the fact that someone (usually just one person) didn't believe in me.
Pregnancy is full of "you can't"
You can't run.
You can't lie on your stomach.
You can't eat sushi.
You can't lift.
You can't have a margarita with your nachos. ;)
You can't have caffeine.
You can't take hot baths.
You can't control your moods.
You can't .....You can't ..... You can't.....
You won't have the same energy.
You won't have control over your body.
You won't know why you're crying.
You won't know why that person annoyed you.
You won't know what has hit you.
If you didn't already know by reading my blog - "I can't" usually isn't ever in my vocabulary.
I struggle a lot on a daily basis now because typically you can find me going about 120 mph - at work, at home, and trying to run that fast while going running.
Now, I'm unable to run or even walk for that matter. My tailbone hurts on a constant basis and the only relief is an hour of prenatal yoga every day. If I'm stressed, I can't grab the ipod and go for a run. And yoga only does so much for my stress.
At work, I can't climb, wear my famous heels, or walk like a I'm walking a marathon.
At home, I run out of energy faster, and need more sleep than you can imagine. I love food, but most of the time nothing sounds good - ever. So eating is like a chore. :( Remember? I LOVE FOOD!
And, literally, it feels as though everyone that sees me needs to give me a belly update - like I didn't ALREADY feel like a whale or see myself in the mirror everyday.
"Wow. You popped."
"Really? March?"
"Oh, I just have to touch."
"Stand up. Let us see."
I'm not a CARNIVAL side show! Wow.
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I will never be a great pregnant lady. Never have been. I admit it.
I do NOT look forward to sleepless nights and days and recovery time. Blech.
You will never hear me say "Oh! Pregnancy was the best time of my life."
Even if I'm feeling great and you think I'm "glowing" I will not feel anywhere near as great without all this extra weight and being my sassy, fast self.
Even if I look like I have it all together, my fears and anxieties are magnified during this time.
I probably in some way go into my own little world and draw within just to get through the aches, pains, and uncomfortableness - both in my mind and within my body.
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All of my complaints aside, feeling the baby *is* amazing.
Watching the girls love the baby already *is* amazing.
Watching Jason's face when he feels the baby moving *is* amazing.
Knowing that the baby is growing and doing well *is* amazing.
Folding his little clothes or blanket *is* amazing.
Knowing that Jace Patrick will be here in almost 100 days *is* amazing.
Aw! Jace Patrick!!! I love it!!!
ReplyDeleteDang girl, I SO could have written this post. We're so alike that its freaky.
Hang in there. Almost done. Love you.
*smooches*
As always, I love the honesty and sincerity in your writing.
ReplyDeleteOh, how I love you! I giggled the whole way through!
ReplyDeleteOops, I should have known you were a good girl and did no caffeine, good thing Starbucks has decaff! :)
I am excited for you Tish. Much love to you and your growing family! I do want to meet this new guy. He sounds pretty great. I am glad I found your blog!
ReplyDeleteTISHA!!!! I'm so glad that Rocky found your blog!!!! I've spent the last little while getting a little caught up. I can't believe your pregnant! Don't feel bad, I hated it too :)
ReplyDeleteI know that you are probably crazy busy all the time (like normal right?) but if ever you have a spare moment, I would LOVE to meet up with you again! I hope things (pg. included!!) are going well for you!
Julie