Please Don't Say "Happy Birthday!"

Last year for my birthday I decided to do several blog giveaways! It was the best thing I've done in a long time.  I had so much fun giving! This year I'm asking YOU to give something instead. (keep reading)

Adoption is near and dear to my heart. On December 5, I was adopted at 3 days old and I reflect on the fact that even if I was unplanned in the eyes of my birth parents, I was not unplanned in the eyes of God. He had a purpose for my life before I even drew my first breath of life. 

I LOVE adoption stories and despite what others assume, I'm very open about talking about my feelings about my own situation. I also love to hear others' stories when I get the chance. 

As a teacher, I've taught many, many students over the course of the 11 years I've been in education. One student stands out, though. She was a sophomore in my computer class. The next year I didn't even realize she was gone. The year after, her senior year, she returned. I was chosen to be a sponsor for the senior trip to Six Flags. As I sat on a bench beside the Texas Giant, I noticed she sat beside me. All of a sudden she struck up a conversation. 

-You were adopted right?

Yes

-I remember when you were my teacher. The first week of school we had to do the About Me project. You told us about being adopted and about your brother dying and how life is never how you expect it to turn out.

Yes

-Well, I was curious. Do you ever feel anger toward your birth mother? 

(Without hesitation) No. I think she gave me one of the greatest gifts a person can give. In my eyes she's a hero. 

-Really? 

Yes. 

-Do you remember I was gone last year? 

Yes

-I went away to have a baby. I gave that baby up for adoption. I struggle daily with wondering if she'll grow up to hate me or be angry at me. 

In that moment, I realized that everything we go through in life, isn't just for us. It's for us to share with others and tell what we've learned. It's for us to mentor with and guide others who might go through that same situation playing a different role. It's for us to comfort and console. And that's exactly what I did. 

In a way I could say to her the exact things I'd say to my own birth mother if I had the chance and she could express her love and worry to me when she couldn't say those things yet to her baby girl. 

November is National Adoption Awareness Month (bet you didn't know that!) and after several coincidental (you know I don't believe in this) conversations about adoption with a new friend this year, I realized there weren't many charities centering around adoption. 

So, I know it's now December and you'll probably take time to actually go to my FB wall or twitter feed to say "Happy Birthday."  But this year I'm asking you not to. I'm asking you to choose one of the following charities and take that time to donate at least $1 in my name for my 35th birthday. 

1. Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption

2. Gladney Center for Adoption
3. Hope Cottage

Big love and gratitude to each of you for making my life so abundant! 

Great Women

Since this month is Women's History Month, I thought it befitting to do a few posts over great women. When I began thinking of the great women in my life, I was surprised that the list was so long!

I'm so thankful that these women have come into my life. A few have stayed, but some of the greatest have gone and left such a great heart-print on my life. I think of all of them as so incredibly strong. Funny. Just in the past week, several people have said or written to me "Tisha, you must be strong because . . ." Ha! A lot they know. I do not feel strong most of the time, at least not on my own accord. 

Of all the women that I think of as strong, I think of my own birth mother. I've said this while blogging before, but as a mother myself, I cannot think of a greater strength and love: giving up your own child so they may be cared for in ways you are aware you cannot provide. Adoption stories are always so close to my heart. As I get older, they always, without a doubt, bring tears to my eyes. I admire her so much for something I'm pretty sure I couldn't do. 

As for women that I don't know, personally, one of my favorite strong women is Maya Angelou. If you have not had the chance to read some of her writings, do. She has a great story and is such an inspiration to so many, including me. 

I leave you with an excerpt from each of my favorite of her poems and dedicate them to the strongest of women in my life: 

Still I Rise

. . . 

Did you want to see me broken?

Bowed head and lowered eyes?

Shoulders falling down like teardrops

Weakened by my soulful cries. 

. . . 

You may shoot me with your words, 

You may cut me with your eyes, 

You may kill me with your hatefulness, 

But still, like air, I'll rise. 

Phenomenal Woman

. . . 

Now you understand 

Just why my head's not bowed

I don't shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud. 

When you see me passing

It ought to make you proud.

I say, 

It's in the click of my heels, 

The bend of my hair, 

The palm of my hand, 

The need of my care. 

'Cause I'm a woman

Phenomenally. 

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.