Please Don't Say "Happy Birthday!"

Last year for my birthday I decided to do several blog giveaways! It was the best thing I've done in a long time.  I had so much fun giving! This year I'm asking YOU to give something instead. (keep reading)

Adoption is near and dear to my heart. On December 5, I was adopted at 3 days old and I reflect on the fact that even if I was unplanned in the eyes of my birth parents, I was not unplanned in the eyes of God. He had a purpose for my life before I even drew my first breath of life. 

I LOVE adoption stories and despite what others assume, I'm very open about talking about my feelings about my own situation. I also love to hear others' stories when I get the chance. 

As a teacher, I've taught many, many students over the course of the 11 years I've been in education. One student stands out, though. She was a sophomore in my computer class. The next year I didn't even realize she was gone. The year after, her senior year, she returned. I was chosen to be a sponsor for the senior trip to Six Flags. As I sat on a bench beside the Texas Giant, I noticed she sat beside me. All of a sudden she struck up a conversation. 

-You were adopted right?

Yes

-I remember when you were my teacher. The first week of school we had to do the About Me project. You told us about being adopted and about your brother dying and how life is never how you expect it to turn out.

Yes

-Well, I was curious. Do you ever feel anger toward your birth mother? 

(Without hesitation) No. I think she gave me one of the greatest gifts a person can give. In my eyes she's a hero. 

-Really? 

Yes. 

-Do you remember I was gone last year? 

Yes

-I went away to have a baby. I gave that baby up for adoption. I struggle daily with wondering if she'll grow up to hate me or be angry at me. 

In that moment, I realized that everything we go through in life, isn't just for us. It's for us to share with others and tell what we've learned. It's for us to mentor with and guide others who might go through that same situation playing a different role. It's for us to comfort and console. And that's exactly what I did. 

In a way I could say to her the exact things I'd say to my own birth mother if I had the chance and she could express her love and worry to me when she couldn't say those things yet to her baby girl. 

November is National Adoption Awareness Month (bet you didn't know that!) and after several coincidental (you know I don't believe in this) conversations about adoption with a new friend this year, I realized there weren't many charities centering around adoption. 

So, I know it's now December and you'll probably take time to actually go to my FB wall or twitter feed to say "Happy Birthday."  But this year I'm asking you not to. I'm asking you to choose one of the following charities and take that time to donate at least $1 in my name for my 35th birthday. 

1. Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption

2. Gladney Center for Adoption
3. Hope Cottage

Big love and gratitude to each of you for making my life so abundant! 

God Loves Surprises

Anytime I find something worthy of mentioning, I eagerly find my computer, time to blog and something good to drink.

I recently bought The Shack. I have known many people who have read it, recommended it, and loved it. For some reason, I actually resisted the reading. I guess something inside of me knew that the book would have a great affect on my soul.

I bought the book Thursday night and by Saturday had devoured the entire piece like I would a good piece of chocolate. My soul needed the book, the passages, and the imagery at this exact moment. I found myself smiling, thinking, contemplating, and sobbing.

For anyone that has lost someone very dear and close like a child or a sibling, this book will pull out all kinds of emotions from you. It will comfort you, make you think again, and give you a different perspective than you've ever expected. Most likely it will do this to you anyway.

If you feel a tugging to read it. Do it. I'm convinced that you will get something out of it and pass it on to others that may need it.

Here are some of my favorite passages:

Jesus: An awful lot of what is done in my name has nothing to do with me and is often, even if unintentional, very contrary to my purposes.

Papa (God): When all you can see is your pain, perhaps then you lose sight of me.

Papa (God): You're going to find this day a lot easier if you simply accept what is, instead of trying to fit it into your preconceived notions.

Sarayu (Spirit): Many of those so-called bad plants, like this one, contain incredible properties for healing or are necessary for some of the most magnificent wonders when combined with something else.

Jesus: We are not done there.

Papa (God): There is no Plan B.

Jesus: She (God) loves surprises, and even though you might not think it, her timing is always perfect.

This last passage meant a lot more to me than it normally would. In the past few weeks I've had to get use to a new idea that wasn't expected until later on. For all sorts of reasons, it just didn't seem feasible at this exact moment. But later? Yeah, I was good with that. You know, when "my plan and timing" was right. The seemingly random chaos of life has brought us to a new phase in our lives and we are excited to share it with you. Jason, the girls and I will be enjoying one of God's special surprises sometime at the end of March. :)