Avery- ham Lincoln

Here's some fun news for this week: 

In preschool, both girls began studying about the presidents with focus on George Washington and Abraham Lincoln . Their teachers always taught them a cute little song about how parents these days don't dress like those crazy presidents did. 

So, a few weeks ago when the girls woke up we were watching Good Morning America. (yeah, i like ABC and so if they want to stay in my room they know they have to be game to watch it with me. Ok, so anyway . . .GMA was discussing something about the presidents. 

Avery looked at me and said "Remember that guy I colored at preschool?"

 I said "Which guy?!" 

 "Avery-ham Lincoln." 

"OH! You mean Abraham Lincoln!"

"No, mama! It's Avery-ham!" 

"Ok, Avery." :) 

My Avery-ham will turn 4 on the 24th (Friday). I cannot believe that 4 years ago I was in labor with her watching the Pope's funeral and discussing the Mavericks in the playoffs with my dr during post delivery. 

She was such a good, calm, baby. Well, most of the time. I remember that one night (ha - I'm sure there were many more) that I had only 2 hrs of sleep. I was sitting on the couch holding her, flipping through the TV channels, crying, just wanting someone to come rescue me. Or at least have them allow me an hour of uninterrupted sleep. 

As she grew into the preschooler she is now, I've learned so much about her personality and about myself as her mom. 

In traditional fashion, just as I have honored her being a year older before,  I'm honoring her with this blog today. 

 - She loves running. She runs everywhere. I even had to buy her NIKE shoes so that she would have less chance of falling. 

- She just learned to peel Clementine oranges. She thinks she sooo big. ;) 

- She hates for me to comb her hair in the mornings. Often she goes to the babysitter just as she woke up. 

- She is not afraid to say what she thinks - no matter who it is about or who is around. 

- She prefers Diego over Dora. 

- The kid lives on pasta and bologna. Seriously. 

- She loves music. Sings all the time. Makes up dances and shakes her "bootay" anytime she hears a song. 

- She has this knack for talking with accents. British accents are her specialty still. "Can I get the tangos (tangles) out of your hair?" 

- She likes to add "baby" behind everyone's name. Everyone. 

- She recently loves praying. She can pray a deep prayer that would put anyone in their place. "Mama, God always does what He says." 

- She can recite Madagascar 2 to you at the drop of a hat. She loves saying "I like 'em big, I like 'em chunky, I like 'em round." 

I once said that she was the funniest person I know and it still holds true to this day. She has such a big heart and bright eyes and such an outgoing personality when you get to know her. 

She has enriched my life in so many ways and I'm so thankful for her everyday! I'm so glad that I get to be her mama-baby. :)

Happy  4th Birthday, Avery-ham! 

I'm trying. Really.

I hate this week. I'm saying it. Disagree if you must, but every single day this week it  "plan b" has popped up. I don't just mean in my life, but in those around me, also. 

Today, I sat in my 6th funeral in 8 years. Every single one was for a student who died suddenly by either a health condition or a car accident. I live for my students just as they were my own children. They touch my life just like my own girls. I mourn for them just as I did my own brother. 

This week, something that I was really hoping for turned out to not happen. It won't happen. That opportunity just wasn't in the cards. I'm working on accepting that. 

After getting home from the funeral, I tried to struggle through those emotions. I cry at the drop of a hat. I'm angry. I'm frustrated. I do not feel faithful today. I know what I said yesterday. I know. But my heart cannot take all the pain of those around me. 

After thinking I was better, I went onto Facebook only to find that one of my very close friends had updated her blog. Please go there. Now. Read it and join with us in prayer and positive thoughts for Karly. They need as many people as possible to support them during this difficult time. 

Here I am today. Yes, I'm asking God "Why?" I'm only human right? I can only be positive so long. Today I'm done. I'm sad. Being there gathered for  Karley (yes her name, too). Remembering all the times she sat in my class, all the times I had to force her to drink her Monster drink before she walked in my room, seeing her page with our class pictures on it, it's all hard to swallow. Watching her mom walk down to the pew, I had a flashback of my own brother's funeral. So, today, I'm allowing myself to ask "Why?" 

Why does plan B have to show up in our lives? I know it's all part of a bigger plan. I know, but yet my heart doesn't comply with that thought today. I know that God takes all things and makes them for good, but the pain isn't resolved today at all by that thought. I know all of this, yet, I continue to ask "why." 

Walking by Faith

This week and last week my readers could definitely tell that the issue of faith has been on my mind. There are a few things in my life that I'm really having to let go and let God, if you will.

Faith and Grace are both names I chose for the girls middle names. I chose them for a multitude of reasons, but mainly because I believe that we cannot live abundantly without either of these things. They are difficult to remember in times of hardship, but so very important for our growth as a human.

Faith has definitely been on my mind a lot this month. I have been thinking and contemplating it a lot. Last week, the church service mentioned a story about Blondin. He was a guy who put up a tight rope over Niagra Falls. He walked across many times and used many theatrical approaches. People on either side of the rope believed he could do it and cheered, but upon asking if someone would volunteer to travel on his back as he crossed there was only silence.

It's easy for us to be faithful. Easy to have faith in others, faith in ourselves, faith in God, if it is from afar. It's easy to be faithful when things are going our way. We praise when things work out exactly how we picture. But what if they don't? What if the end result is not what we were expecting? What if we are asked to put our faith just one step further? What do we do then?

Faith to me means being faithful in all circumstances, continuing our faith even when our expectations take a turn in the opposite direction. We must have faith especially in times of tests and tribulation. Faith is jumping on that tight rope even when everyone around us sits in silence and thinks you are crazy. :)

Thanking Tuesday

I've decided to be thankful for those things I'm not fond of head-on. Bring on the wind. Bring on Tuesdays. 

3:00  AM - wake to see J off

7:00 AM -Oops! I got up late. Maddie is already dressed and ready. Wow. 

7:15 AM - breakfast for me and girls; Avery gets up. Finally. 

7:30 AM - still working on my makeup and all of our bedheads

7:45 AM - out the door. Whew!

8:00 AM - must be ready to meet with elementary school principal regarding her laptop

9:00 AM - must be at the administration bldg for a technology meeting

11:45 AM - leave early for presentation at elementary. 

12:05 PM - realize that I'm way early for meeting. I jet off for a quick lunch. 

12:25 PM - back at elementary and present to the sweet kindergarteners. 

1:10 PM - leave fun, small children; en route to bigger, more sarcastic children at HS. 

1:20 PM - meet with co-worker; discuss weekend briefly

1:30 PM - bell rings; 13 broadcast students pile in and begin working on their projects

2:00 PM - realize my lesson plans are STILL late

2:30 PM - class almost over; vice principal surprise visit

2:45 PM - break free to make it to the elementary school once more for Tuesday Tech Training

3:00 PM - check on Madison and her friend. Homework is a must!

3:15 PM - give my teachers a wealth of information about technology, professional development and skype. 

3:45 PM - leave finally after individual questions. 

3:50 PM - Avery is dropped off by my BFF Kim. 

3:52 PM - time for the BOOKFAIR. At least I get to miss tonight's crowd. 

4:15 PM - time to run to the store

4:30 PM - one errand left, but it can WAIT. 

5:00 PM- Finally home. *sigh*

Was this day crazy? Maybe. Was it abundant? Maybe. 

On this Tuesday, I took time to breath, albeit in between stop lights and slow trash men, but breaths all the same.  I took time to acknowledge my gratitude for my job.  

The most impactful moment of my day? The second I found out the news that a former student was found dead in her bedroom early this morning. 

Stop. 

I'm breathing. Have a job. My girls. Our health. All that we truly need. 

Tuesdays are full of blessings, after all. 

Winds of Change

The wind. 

I admit that since I can remember I have seen the wind as my enemy. First, my hair is all over the place. Second, whatever particles are swirling around in the air at 25 mph always end up in my contacts and therefore make my eyes hurt like nothing I've ever felt. Third, walking and getting in and out of a car is almost impossible. 

I remember this one time while growing up in W. Texas. I was walking back into the high school after an extraordinary lunch at Paula's. (What memories! What I wouldn't give for one of those chicken tacos! )The wind was blowing about 30-40 mph as it always does. For some reason, I took my contact out of my eye while walking up to the school. (stupid!) Yes, you guessed it. There went my tiny, blue contact. *GASP* How would I ever find it? I didn't,  but a really great friend did. (thank you! thank you!)

Now, I like to think of myself as a person full of gratitude, but the wind is one thing that I really need to work on. I try to be thankful for such an important part of nature and our lives. 

Wind is really important. Wind disperses seeds as it blows and helps to provide many different types of transportation. Wind can also create energy in forms of electricity and therefore, causes change. This is the thought that I keep getting stuck on. 

One reason I love the wind is because you can feel it and hear it, but you can never touch it. Though, you always know it is there. Lately it is has been around a lot. Each time I walk outside the past week, I've become more aware and conscious of my dislike of it's presence. 

Faith. 

I have never really struggled with my faith. When I am faithful in something or someone, it comes full force. I'm faithful that prayers can be answered. But faithful that it isn't prayer alone that causes change. Just as it isn't the wind alone that causes energy or change. We have to take that step, jump off that cliff, be still and just let the wind blow around us in some cases. 

Lately, I feel the winds of change in my life. I feel it all around me. Life is changing and ever present. Sometimes, just like the winds, the changes come fast and furious. Many times we aren't prepared and our lawn furniture gets blown all over the yard. When that type of change comes we often feel our emotions are all over the place. We usually need time to "clean up" after that storm. 

Today, the change is good. I see it. I feel it. I cannot touch it, but I know it's there. Just like the wind, change is will always be present. I usually am very welcoming of change, but now I'm learning that many of the things I wasn't thankful for are so important in my life and necessary for the shaping of my heart and spirit. I'm going to work on being faithful in the fact that all things are meant for good. Even those things that we would rather avoid. 

I leave you with this: " What will you do with change or what will change do with you?