I Love You, Lord

Many years ago, at a very young age, when life was dark, sad, empty and confusing I would sit and listen to music over and over. One of those songs was called "I Love You, Lord" with very simple, yet powerful lyrics: 

I love you, Lord 
And I lift my voice 
To worship You 
Oh, my soul rejoice! 
Take joy my King 
In what You hear 
Let it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear

I would literally cry out these words while listening and hoped that someday my words, my actions, and my thoughts would be a "sweet sound" to Him. 

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Fast forward to Sunday. 

Jason was on-call, so while he was out doing rounds, I was home watching and listening to Elevate Life Church knowing that ,as always, it would speak to me. 

What I didn't expect was for the melody of "I Love You, Lord" to begin playing before the actual sermon. All I could do was sit there, listen, sing and pray. 

A few hours later I was at the track running my long run. If you haven't read about my marathon training(click here), you should catch up (start around Dec 4th). It's not about losing weight. It's about discipline of self and spirit. 

See, I know/knew that I could never get to a place mentally or spiritually to finish my book unless I started giving up some things. The book. You know, the one that has been in progress for years? 

So, I knew immediately when my friend, Becca, texted me and asked me to do the marathon that I had to say yes. I knew it was a door of opportunity to get me from point A to point B. (or C, or D) :) I knew that her text was really sent by God. My story, HIS story needs to be told. 

What I didn't know was how powerful that discipline and time with God would be already. 

On that long Sunday run, God and I had a long discussion. I admitted to him a lot. I cannot do life without him. I cannot do this book without HIS words. I cannot and have not done anything in life without him - ever. 

I prayed the same prayer I've prayed for years: 

Speak through me. Love through me. Give through me. Teach through me. Be in my thoughts, words, and actions. Use me in whatever way YOU need. I surrender. 

Something different happened that day, though. I can't say what exactly. 

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Monday

Not once, not twice, but THREE times I had THREE different people stop in my office. 

All THREE conversations had a theme, the same theme - "Do not worry. He is in EVERYTHING. He cares."

What's great about all three of those conversations isn't the coincidence of the number 3 (Father, Son, Holy Spirit), but more so the theme of each conversation and what I got out of each one.  

My book is about my brother's death, my family's struggle through that, my lesson that gratitude through anything can take you higher. I thought all of those were my themes. 

However, I'm pretty sure that another big theme is this: "God was there the moment I saw my brother for the last time. God was there the moment I knew I needed to grab him back inside. God was there when he fell. God was there when we cried. God was there. God was there. God was there." 

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Tuesday

We woke up later than ever. It was a typical morning, though. Breakfast, hair, clothes, more hair, and then out the door. 

I had a busy day at work. There wasn't much time to think or reflect. I had one great conversation that stood out. 

It was rainy and cold. I had a run planned. I left at 5:45. My foot was slightly injured, but I went anyway. 

Press on! I told myself

30 minutes later I knew I needed to stop and rest my foot or I wouldn't be able to walk. 

As I walked myself off the track, I cried and cried. My run tonight was frustrating. I felt defeated. I had dinner, I showered, and was in bed by 8:30. 

--------------TEXT MESSAGE-----------

Me: Sorry I missed your call. Went running. Now in bed. 

Shelsea: Ur birthday present place (click here for that blog post) called me today. I guess I was the only one that put a phone # on my donation. They wanted to talk to you. 

Me: Really?! Did they say why? 

Shelsea: I didn't want to give them your number so I gave them your address and your blog. 

Me: Wow

Shelsea: They were so grateful. They wanted to interview you and present you with something. 

Me: No way! 

Shelsea: They asked me who you were and why I made the donation in your name. 

Me: That's AWESOME! 

Shelsea: I told them to check the dates Dec 4-6 and see if there was an increase in donations those days and she confirmed that there were....

Me: I'm in TEARS! Wow! 

Shelsea: I was in tears. She asked how I knew you and why you chose this as your bday gift. I told her (didn't think you'd mind)

Me: Thank you so much for sharing this! 

Shelsea: No thank you! It was the best call & birthday gift I've ever given - to know that I have helped someone else. 

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Thank YOU

Thank you to every single one of you that donated to a charity (specifically Hope Cottage) in my name for my 35th birthday. You have made a difference in a life. You have given of yourself. You have changed the world and that, my friends, is what we are CALLED to do. 

A Journey of Thanks

For the past several years, many know I've started one of the #40daysofthankfulness movements on Facebook. There are many people who take part in something similar. It so refreshing to go on and see twitter or Facebook feeds show such positive words as opposed to the typical and sometimes constant complaining, especially during a time when we all should be thankful. 


My #40Days was born during a low point in my life. I was basically feeling like this: "If you spend less time bitching about your life, you'd possibly enjoy it more." 


I was in the middle of a divorce, trying to pull myself up emotionally and going on Facebook hoping to connect with family and friends became a pile of negativity I could not deal with anymore. So, rather than deleting anyone and everyone, I decided to throw out A LOT of GRATITUDE. 


This year the Facebook event I created (40 Days of Thankfulness Challenge) now has over 2,000 people joining in and throwing out gratitude into the world. If you're reading, not part of this movement and would like to join, go here. We typically start the first week of October and end right before Thanksgiving, but there are no rules (except to be thankful and not negate your thanks in the same sentence).  You can start whenever.


Last year, a friend challenged me to an entire year of gratitude. At first I thought there was no way I could pull a daily "thanks" out every single day. But then I realized - I could do it. Then I was determined I would do it.


Today I'm on Gratitude Day 373. :) I made the 365 days, let it collide with my 40 Days of Thankfulness Challenge and am going on to 1,000 gratitudes. 


Something I've found on my journey of thanks is that many people misinterpret my attitude of gratitude into many different things: 

• Her life is perfect.
• She never has a bad day.
• How can she always be so cheery? 
• She thinks she better than all of us who are struggling. 

Um. No. Maybe you don't know my story. If not, wait for the book. I can promise you my life has never been perfect - ever. I do have bad days. There are emotions I'm still dealing with 24 years after the devastation of losing a brother. How can I be cheery? Because I know the other side of the coin - death, divorce, addiction, bitterness.  Better than you?  No. Never. I acknowledge that we ALL struggle, all have a story, all are dealing with pain, and are all trying to find that place of peace daily. 

This wonderful status from my friend and "gratitude ambassador," T, pretty much sums up my feeling about those misinterpretations: Many people assume a positive attitude means lack of struggle or hardship, when in fact, a positive attitude is what pulls us through the difficult times. That person smiling at you has just as much of a battle as you do, they just choose to look at it differently.

Will you choose gratitude when things are not going your way and you seem to be at the bottom of that valley? 

Will you acknowledge all that you have instead of all that you don't? 

Will you choose to look at it all differently, no matter what is going on in your life? 

I hope so. 

365 Days of Gratitude & Simplicity Day 12

November 21, 2010

*All content has been taken from SImple Abundance. Some content has been shortened for the purpose of 365 Days of Gratitude. 

There Is No Scarcity

"When money is plenty this is a man's world. When money is scarce it is a woman's world. When all else seems to have failed, the woman's instinct comes in. She gets the job. That is a reason why in spite of all that happens, we continue to have a world. ~Ladie's Home Journal, October 1932

When you worry about someone's health - yours or a loved ones there is a sudden clarity about what is important. Living is important. Everyday is a gift. 

But when we worry about money it mocks us. Those worries steal our joy and follow us around like a dark shadow. 

Money ebbs and flows in our life. We must accept that and find gratitude no matter what our situation is at the time. 

Today's challenge: Concentrate on what you have today. Not what you lack. Accept what you can change and do not allow worry to take over what you cannot. 

Today's exercise: Write down 10 things you are grateful for in this moment. 

365 Days of Gratitude & Simplicity Day 11

November 20, 2010

*All content has been taken from SImple Abundance. Some content has been shortened for the purpose of 365 Days of Gratitude. 

Is It Recession or Depression

"No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit." ~Helen Keller

I, personally, am finding it ironic that the Simple Abundance book has discussed recession at this time. The book was first published in the late 90's and as I read the entry for today, I realize that it is still applicable. 

Perhaps the recession has personally affected you and yours. Millions of women are scaling down their expectations of what constitutes the good life, redefining their values, reordering their priorities and accepting the challenge of making a virtue out of necessity. However, it's very easy to surrender to emotional depression when a financial one occurs. 

It's time to put the thoughts of lack behind us. We will have to make a change. Change does not happen overnight. Lasting change happens in small increments at a time. We will slowly learn to become optimists. 

Today's challenge: Smile at everyone you meet. Make eye contact when you smile. Expect something good to happen no matter what happened yesterday. The past can no longer hold you captive. Let it go. 

Today's exercise: Write down 10 things you are grateful for in this moment. 

"The past can only continue to hurt you if you hold on to it." 

365 Days of Gratitude & Simplicity Day 10

November 19, 2010

*All content has been taken from SImple Abundance. Some content has been shortened for the purpose of 365 Days of Gratitude. 

Until It Is Carved in Stone

"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth - and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up - that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had. ~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

In one of my favorite plays of all time, Our Town by Thornton Wilder  a deeply poignant scene takes place in a graveyard. Ghosts comfor teh young heroine, who has recently died from childbirth. Emily, still longing for the life she has just left, wishes to revisit one ordinary, "unimportant" day in her life. When she does, she realizes how much "the living take for granted." 


It eventually becomes too much for her to bear and she begs to leave one last time. ". . . goodbye clocks ticking, goodbye sunflowers, goodbye sleeping and waking. . . "

Today's challenge: This is the season of epiphany. Today seek everyday epiphanies. Give them a voice. Say out loud to someone which "unimportant" experiences you're thankful for and have previously taken for granted. 

Today's exercise: Write down 10 things you are grateful for in this moment. 

"Appreciate the authentic moments of happiness in the everyday." 

365 Days of Gratitude & Simplicity Day 9

November 18, 2010

*All content has been taken from SImple Abundance. Some content has been shortened for the purpose of 365 Days of Gratitude. 

What Is It You Truly Need

"Ini my life's chain of events nothing was accidental. Everything happened according to an inner need." ~Hanna Senesh

Do you have everything you need right now? What about your wants? 


Most of us are hungering for something more in our lives, but do we really think it can be found in a glossy magazine or on the television?

In order to live the life we were intended, it's crucial to distinguish between our wants and our needs. 


Today make peace with the knowledge that you cannot have everything you want! 
It's most important to get everything we need. 

Today's challenge: Be courageous and ask yourself : What is it I truly need to make me happy? The personal answers to this will be very different for each of us. "It is inevitable that when one has a great need of something, one finds it."

Today's exercise: Write down 10 things you are grateful for in this moment. 


"What you need, you attract." 

365 Days of Gratitude & Simplicity Day 8

November 17, 2010

*All content has been taken from SImple Abundance. Some content has been shortened for the purpose of 365 Days of Gratitude. 

The Underrated Duty

"There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy. By being happy we sow anonymous benefits upon the world." ~Robert Louis Stevenson

"I'll be happy when I get a bigger kitchen." 

"I'll be happy when I get a better paying job."

"I'll be happy when I find the perfect someone." 

I call this "I'll be happy when" syndrome. It tricks us. Yes, these things can make us HAPPIER,  they do not plant the seeds of happiness. 

Happiness is not a possession to be prized. It is a thought, a state of mind. 

No one can force you to be happy each day that you wake up. 

Let's adopt a new state of mind. Let's stop thinking that things outside of our control will bring happiness. 

We must tend our inner garden and take time to uproot the weeds of external expectations.

Happiness is a living emotion. We must be willing to pursue it and make it a priority. It IS  intimidating, but be gentle, start small. Climbing a mountain looks  difficult, but if you take it step by step and day by day, you will find yourself at the top and looking up! 

Today's challenge: Today take time to think of 2 things in your past that you thought would bring you happiness - that you depended on to bring you happiness. Write them down. Did they make you happy for long?

Today's exercise: Write down 10 things you are grateful for in this moment.

365 Days of Gratitude & Simplicity Day 7

November 16, 2010

*All content has been taken from SImple Abundance. Some content has been shortened for the purpose of 365 Days of Gratitude. 

How Happy Are You Right Now? 

"Perhaps if one really knew when one was happy one would know the things that were necessary for one's life." ~Joanna Field

How happy are you right now? Do you even know? 

Most women know what make their parents, partners, or children happy. But when it comes to an awareness about the little, specific things in life that bring a smile to our faces, we often come up short. 

In 1926, a young Englishwoman, Joanna Field, began to keep a journal in order to discover what specifically triggered the feeling of delight in her daily life.  

Today's challenge: Today take time to experience moments of happiness. Savor the small, authentic moments that bring contentment. Try a new cookie recipe. Take time to arrange a bouquet of flowers. Sip a cup of tea on the porch and enjoy the sun. Pause for 5 minutes to pet a purring cat. 

Today's exercise: Write down 10 things you are grateful for in this moment. Write down a moment when you savored an small, authentic moment. 

365 Days of Gratitude & SImplicity Day 6

November 15, 2010

*All content has been taken from SImple Abundance. Some content has been shortened for the purpose of 365 Days of Gratitude. 

Standing Knee-Deep in a River and Dying of Thirst

"The thirst after happiness is never extinguished in the hear of [woman]. ~Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Kathy Mattea sings of friends who had been taken for granted, sweethearts she had known, and a wonderful world of strangers just waiting to make a connection with us (while we turn our eyes away)

There is so much we are taking for granted. We must try to stop living unconsciously. 

The revelation that we have everything we need in life to make us happy but simply lack the conscious awareness to appreciate it can be as refreshing as lemonade on a hot summer day or as startling as cold water being thrown in our face. . 

Are you going through your days parched and empty, when you are really standing knee-deep in the river of abundance? 

Today's challenge & exercise: Write down 10 things you are grateful for in this moment. 

365 Days of Gratitude & Simplicity Day 5

November 14, 2010

*All content has been taken from SImple Abundance. Some content has been shortened for the purpose of 365 Days of Gratitude.

The Woman You Were Meant to Be

"Many women today feel a sadness we cannot name. Though we accomplish much of what we set out to do, we sense that something is missing our lives and fruitlessly search "out there" for the answers. What often wrong is that we are disconnected from an authentic sense of self. ~ Emily Hancock

Has this ever happened to you? You are washing your face, and sudden you do not recognize the woman staring back at you. "Who is this?" you ask the mirror. No reply. She looks vaguely familiar but bears little resemblance  to the woman you were expecting to see there. Psychologists call this a "displacement of self," and it usually occurs during times of great stress. (Ha! Isn't this everyday?) 

Perhaps our melancholy is that we miss the woman we were meant to be. We miss our authentic selves. But the good news is that even if you have ignored the overtures for decades ("wear red" "cut your hair" "study art in Paris" "learn the tango") your authentic self has no abandoned you. 

Start listening. 

Today's challenge & exercise: List some of the things you've ignored your authentic self saying to you in the past. What things have you avoided pursuing because you were not able to silence the world and listen to yourself? 

Write down you gratitude for the day.

365 Days of Gratitude & Simplicity Day 4

November 13, 2010

*All content has been taken from SImple Abundance. Some content has been shortened for the purpose of 365 Days of Gratitude.

This isn't a Dress Rehearsal

"When you perform . . .you are out of yourself - larger and more potent, more beautiful. You are for minutes heroic. This is power. This is glory on earth. And it is yours, nightly. ~Agnes De Mille

Like an actress conserving her creative energy and focus for opening night, we hold back. Perhaps you save the pretty china for when company comes; perhaps your rarely dress up when home alone. 

It does take more effort to set an inviting table, but enhances our experience of eating. 

We all feel better when we take those few extra minutes to fix our hair and put on makeup, but what's more we act different. 

Today's challenge & exercise: Find something and give it an extra 5 minutes. Table setting, getting dressed, cooking an new side dish. 

Write down you gratitude for the day.

365 Days of Gratitude & Simplicity Day 3

November 12, 2010

*All content has been taken from SImple Abundance. Some content has been shortened for the purpose of 365 Days of Gratitude.

Simple Abundance: The Inner Journey

simple, adj. 1: without embellishment; 2: clarity of form and thought; 3: fundamental

abundance, n.1: an ample quantity, profusion; 2: wealth; 3: plentifulness 

simple abundance, 1: an inner journey; 2: a spiritual practical course in creative living; 3: a tapestry of contentment

Today's challenge: Today become aware that you already posses all the inner wisdom, strength, and creativity needed to make your dreams come true. This is hard for us to realize because our personal power gets buried so deeply beneath the bills, the dirty laundry, chores, running kids to and fro. Somehow our perceptions are flawed to conclude that happiness and fulfillment come only from external events. We have to learn to be catalysts for our own change. 

Today's exercise: The six principles to use as a guide for us over the next year. Read them, add them to today's journal entry. 

1. Gratitude - doing daily spiritual and mental inventory reminds us that we are rich

2. Simplicity -clear out, pare down, realize we only need the essentials; with simplicity brings..

3. Order - both internally and externally

4. Harmony - provides inner peace 

5. Beauty - With #1-4 we realize the beauty in even the simple things

6. Joy - #1-5 opens the joy in abundance

Be still. 

Write down you gratitude for the day. 

365 Days of Gratitude & Simplicity Day 2

November 11, 2010

*All content has been taken from SImple Abundance. Some content has been shortened for the purpose of 365 Days of Gratitude. 

Loving the Questions

"You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough." ~Joe e. Lewis

How often have you turned away from all that is unresolved in your heart because you feared questioning?
What if you new that a year from today you could be living the most creative, joyous, and fulfilling life you could imagine? 
What would that life look like? 
What changes would you make?
Where would you begin?

Today's challenge: Ask yourself the questions above. Be comfortable asking the questions. Be comfortable with the "not knowing" the answers. 

Today's exercise: Ask yourself the questions again. Write them down even. The answers to your questions will eventually come. 

Write down you gratitude for the day.