I Love You, Lord

Many years ago, at a very young age, when life was dark, sad, empty and confusing I would sit and listen to music over and over. One of those songs was called "I Love You, Lord" with very simple, yet powerful lyrics: 

I love you, Lord 
And I lift my voice 
To worship You 
Oh, my soul rejoice! 
Take joy my King 
In what You hear 
Let it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear

I would literally cry out these words while listening and hoped that someday my words, my actions, and my thoughts would be a "sweet sound" to Him. 

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Fast forward to Sunday. 

Jason was on-call, so while he was out doing rounds, I was home watching and listening to Elevate Life Church knowing that ,as always, it would speak to me. 

What I didn't expect was for the melody of "I Love You, Lord" to begin playing before the actual sermon. All I could do was sit there, listen, sing and pray. 

A few hours later I was at the track running my long run. If you haven't read about my marathon training(click here), you should catch up (start around Dec 4th). It's not about losing weight. It's about discipline of self and spirit. 

See, I know/knew that I could never get to a place mentally or spiritually to finish my book unless I started giving up some things. The book. You know, the one that has been in progress for years? 

So, I knew immediately when my friend, Becca, texted me and asked me to do the marathon that I had to say yes. I knew it was a door of opportunity to get me from point A to point B. (or C, or D) :) I knew that her text was really sent by God. My story, HIS story needs to be told. 

What I didn't know was how powerful that discipline and time with God would be already. 

On that long Sunday run, God and I had a long discussion. I admitted to him a lot. I cannot do life without him. I cannot do this book without HIS words. I cannot and have not done anything in life without him - ever. 

I prayed the same prayer I've prayed for years: 

Speak through me. Love through me. Give through me. Teach through me. Be in my thoughts, words, and actions. Use me in whatever way YOU need. I surrender. 

Something different happened that day, though. I can't say what exactly. 

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Monday

Not once, not twice, but THREE times I had THREE different people stop in my office. 

All THREE conversations had a theme, the same theme - "Do not worry. He is in EVERYTHING. He cares."

What's great about all three of those conversations isn't the coincidence of the number 3 (Father, Son, Holy Spirit), but more so the theme of each conversation and what I got out of each one.  

My book is about my brother's death, my family's struggle through that, my lesson that gratitude through anything can take you higher. I thought all of those were my themes. 

However, I'm pretty sure that another big theme is this: "God was there the moment I saw my brother for the last time. God was there the moment I knew I needed to grab him back inside. God was there when he fell. God was there when we cried. God was there. God was there. God was there." 

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Tuesday

We woke up later than ever. It was a typical morning, though. Breakfast, hair, clothes, more hair, and then out the door. 

I had a busy day at work. There wasn't much time to think or reflect. I had one great conversation that stood out. 

It was rainy and cold. I had a run planned. I left at 5:45. My foot was slightly injured, but I went anyway. 

Press on! I told myself

30 minutes later I knew I needed to stop and rest my foot or I wouldn't be able to walk. 

As I walked myself off the track, I cried and cried. My run tonight was frustrating. I felt defeated. I had dinner, I showered, and was in bed by 8:30. 

--------------TEXT MESSAGE-----------

Me: Sorry I missed your call. Went running. Now in bed. 

Shelsea: Ur birthday present place (click here for that blog post) called me today. I guess I was the only one that put a phone # on my donation. They wanted to talk to you. 

Me: Really?! Did they say why? 

Shelsea: I didn't want to give them your number so I gave them your address and your blog. 

Me: Wow

Shelsea: They were so grateful. They wanted to interview you and present you with something. 

Me: No way! 

Shelsea: They asked me who you were and why I made the donation in your name. 

Me: That's AWESOME! 

Shelsea: I told them to check the dates Dec 4-6 and see if there was an increase in donations those days and she confirmed that there were....

Me: I'm in TEARS! Wow! 

Shelsea: I was in tears. She asked how I knew you and why you chose this as your bday gift. I told her (didn't think you'd mind)

Me: Thank you so much for sharing this! 

Shelsea: No thank you! It was the best call & birthday gift I've ever given - to know that I have helped someone else. 

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Thank YOU

Thank you to every single one of you that donated to a charity (specifically Hope Cottage) in my name for my 35th birthday. You have made a difference in a life. You have given of yourself. You have changed the world and that, my friends, is what we are CALLED to do. 

Change the World?

I just finished reading The Alchemist and one of the main motifs of the book is that everyone in the world has their own "personal legend." A personal legend is very much like a life's purpose or the path that God lead's us on. My Maddie would say her personal legend is to use her God-given talent for art and express emotion through her drawings or to cause emotion from those who see her art. 


I think we ALL have a purpose in life and many times it will involve our talent. 
I know people who are great at decorating, organizing events, giving, singing, drawing, writing, reading, drawing people closer to God, making people laugh, teaching.....


Well, the list could go on and on, but bottom line is even if you don't see it or don't believe it you have something to give the world. 


I think for some of us it's difficult to keep that focus when life gets in the way. We tend to forget how our talents are making other's day or making them smile or showing them something about themselves. 


If we choose to ignore these talents or stop listening to that intuition, then we are really failing to fulfill our life's purpose. True happiness comes from following through with those whispers from our soul that tell us to "do what we love." 


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40 Days of Thankfulness


Well, I'm on day 24. There have definitely been days where I've struggled with my nature to come up with something positive instead of leaning on the negative. 


Despite that struggle, I've managed to think of usually many, many things I'm thankful for on a daily basis. 


The greatest blessing for me is not only reminding myself of the power of my gratitude, but just how fast the idea has caught on with other people. 


My friends took the idea and their friends took the idea and so on and so forth....until now we have a 40 Days of Thankfulness group with over 200 members! 


It humbles me to see that so many people are taking this concept and literally running with it and passing it on to others. 


If you aren't on Facebook, MySpace or Twitter, don't let that stop you! Email your friends and send it out to them each day - or text them your thankfulness. It will surely catch on and chances are they will keep you accountable. :) 


We all have the ability or talent to change the world. Sometimes I think we get caught up in the need for it to be a BIG change, but when you think about it, it takes many, many tiny little snowflakes to create a blizzard. 


Let the gratitude blizzard continue . . . 

What We Need When We Need It

I often write about how God usually sends us what we need at the exact time we need it. 
********************
Friday was a very emotional day. Not only was I worried about Madison, so sleep deprived, and missing Avery, but a friend of mine lost her husband after being ill with the flu and developing other complications. I worked with this friend back while I was in college, when their oldest child was just a baby. Although, I never got to spend a lot of one on one time with them, I so enjoyed working with her. She had a great attitude, bright smile and positive outlook on life. 


So many from my hometown had gathered either physically or wirelessly to join in prayer for their entire family. I worried for them, but prayed more. My previous post has a bit to do with what I was thinking last week while checking Facebook often to see if prayers had been answered. Unfortunately, Friday afternoon I got word that things had gone from bad to worse. 


I hid my emotions from Madison, but around 4 pm, Jason came to the hospital to relieve me. I got in the car, turned on my iPod, and cried during the 40 minute drive home for a shower. I so remember that raw emotion of those first few days. I've written many times about my experience, but have saved most of my writing for the in-progress book that I'm hoping to have published someday. 


The next day we got the good news that Maddie could go home. So, with Jason working and Avery not home, Madison and I sat down to watch a movie called Faith Like Potatoes. I've heard good things about it and was excited to just chill, relax, and enjoy time resting. 


I did good until about 3/4 of the way through the movie. Not so good. Why did that scene have to be in that movie at the exact time that I just wanted to forget the week? That scene gave me horrible flashbacks to the very day we lost my brother. 


Needless to say, I was in tears and not hiding it from Maddie anymore. Just in typical Maddie fashion, she creeped over toward me, started rubbing my hair, and said "It's ok momma." She knew I was sad about friend, she knew why I reacted as I did to the movie, and she knew the lack of sleep we have all been dealing with for 2 weeks. We ended up finishing the movie, and although it's really a great movie, I doubt I will be watching it again "for fun." 
*******************************************
This morning I was having to motivate myself to get up and get ready for work. But we all made it out the door on time! 


I had a long day of training ahead of me and was just glad I didn't have to teach! 


As I rounded the corner to the computer lab, I caught a glimpse of one of my favorite people ever. I've written about this family before after losing their daughter. I had the oldest son during my very first year of teaching and now, ironically enough, I work with him. I have always loved his family, but after their ordeal, I grew to admire them more than they even know. So, this mom has subbed as a nurse before and the last time I ran into her, was a time when I really needed to see her. 


Today was no different. I shared with her my weeks events and how I just wanted to relax on Saturday. She shared with me that the same thing happened with her when she tried to watch the movie Fireproof and one of the first scenes from that movie. Boy, did I ever understand that. 


She is such a strong, Christian woman who has shown the greatest of strength at the most difficult of times. Her presence alone just makes you feel all warm inside. And every time I see and talk to her, I remember my own strength and what an abundant life I have. I truly can only hope that I can bless someone's life the way that she has done for so many. 


And yet again God sent me exactly what I needed at the exact time I needed it. 

There is " No Plan B"

I've discussed on this blog once before the option of Plan B. 


My reading of The Shack has brought me and many people I've encountered into a new dimension of understanding  those things in life that aren't part of our first plan. 


Though, as we are going through them it feels as though someone is punishing us. I've been there a few times, and as I've said before the death of my brother was one of those greater times. 


I avoided reading The Shack because I did not want to revisit those emotions. I didn't want to keep asking why or keep not understanding the "plan." I knew the basis of the story and just couldn't bring myself to read about that type of situation or read the families reaction. 


As God always does, he continues to try to get into my thick hard-headed brain and feed my spirit and soul the food it needs to go to the next step. 


Now, as weeks have gone by and I've let the "dust of the book settle" I've tried to keep myself in the same frame of mind that I left the book. 


**************************************************


Recently, so many of the friends I have either close by or long distances have been sick or have family members sick. 


Some of them had great hurdles to overcome because of how things are with the flu, h1n1, and the increase in pneumonia, or strep. 


For whatever reason, things may not always turn out the way we expect or hope. I've been praying non-stop for specific families the past few weeks. Some have the endings we expect and others have not. 


I've been thinking about this for a while and then today realized:  There is No Plan B in God's plan. He doesn't need a backup. 


We only have a "plan b" because the way we planned it didn't happen or because we expected much different results. Our perceptions require us to have a plan B. 


I know I can find many, many, many "plan b's" in my life and I'm sure you might be able to, as well: 


* adoption
*death of a young family member or a family member for any reason
*illnesses
*divorce
*step parenting
*loss of a job
*broken relationships


I think Plan B's make us feel like we are more in control and just possibly they give us great hope for our future despite whatever tribulation we have had to endure. 


However, I believe that just because "God works incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies doesn't mean He orchestrates the tragedy."


People use to tell me and my family all those generic things you say after someone passes: " God knew something we didn't." "God has a plan" "God has His reasons." There were times I even found myself saying those phrases later in life because that was what I'd heard. But after years of thinking about my own situation and reading as much as I can, my mind opened to a new thought. 


To me those phrases mean that we are in a sense blaming God for that event that has unfolded. Maybe blaming is too strong of a word, but I don't believe God reasoned a tragedy, illness, or struggle. My God doesn't work that way and I'm faithful in knowing that He has the ultimate power to take senseless events and turn them around for the good of all of us. 


He promises to never leave us. His plan is THE plan. It's hard to remember that but God is good and loves us all the time - not just during the stuff we plan. 


"All things must unfold even though it puts all those He loves in the midst of a world of horrible tragedy and loss - even the ones closest to Him." 

I Hope You Dance.....

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance 


This has been my song to Maddie since she was a baby. I use to dance with her everyday to this song. 


She is my "old soul" daughter. Most times when we meet people, like today at the hospital, everyone comments on how mature she is for her age. She is mature. She is so perceptive and knowledgeable. She listens to everything and already teaches me so much. 


I've always believed that God puts people in your life purposefully. I think our children are no exception. Even though we are their parents, they are given to us as a gift. I try to remember this even when life can get busy and chaotic. If we take the time to look closely, we can see God through their words, actions, and love. 


Madison dreams big dreams and even copies my practice in creating a dream board (aka vision board).
I started this practice when she was about 3 or 4 and she sat down right along with me and created her own board. When we look back many of our dreams or hopes have actually happened: me meeting Harry Connick, Jr, her having a High School Musical Party, even down to the exact dining room table I have. At times I forget the power of our thoughts, words, and visions. 


Madison doesn't. She says that she will be an artist. She has said this for years. I even wrote a while back about the piece she wrote about "God given talent." She loves creating, drawing, coloring and teaching. She attended an art camp this summer and thrived. However, when I ask if she'd like to take an art class after school, her response was "No, mom. I don't want other people to tell me what to draw or how to draw." 


No argument from me. :) I don't want people to tell me what to dream or how to dream either. 


We discuss all the possibilities of her love for art: making and decorating cakes, being an architect, designing clothes, .......


I have an admiration for her that she may never know. I admire her love for everyone. I admire her giving nature. I admire her sense of humor. I admire her strength. I admire her artistic abilities. I admire her love for God and the ongoing conversations she tells me about having with Him. 


I adore her laugh, her smile, her hugs, and her ability to carry on a conversation with most adults. 


I hope that she is reminded of God's greatness. I hope that she continues to dream and keep them in sight. I hope that she will always remember that when doors close, many others open. I hope I have given her enough love, wisdom, and insightfulness that she will always choose to dance. 




Here's her art from this past week - she decided what and how.....

Power Struggles

2 girls

1 mom

45 days (note - should be more, but who's counting?)

One of the perks of being a teacher or in the education profession is that I get the same days and holidays off as the girls.

When I first decided to become a teacher I was more focused on changing the world, paying forward what some great teachers did for me, and pursuing a never-ending learning environment. As the first year turned into seven, I decided I wanted to step out of teaching in a typical classroom and do something different.

Now that I have been in my particular job for a year, I begin appreciating different aspects of teachers, students, and education. One of those things is how much I love that I'm usually able to leave work at work. This was not something I did while teaching 150 students each day. I don't bring home people's technology problems with me. Some think I should - but, um, no.

This last year my schedule was flexible enough to be with Maddie on important days at her school. I was able to watch the music program that typical parents weren't allowed into; I was able to see her answer math questions and take spelling tests. She was also able to see me in my work environment, being all professional. I was able to take Avery to preschool and pick her up. I was there for her first day and was able to be there within minutes if she was sick. She definitely needed that little bit of extra time with me each week. I've been so thankful to get to spend these special moments with the girls. It was definitely a God-send job. His timing was perfect.

Then school was out.

YYYYYYYYYYYIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEE!

We ALL needed the break. My 2 1/2 months of summer vacation is one of my favorite things about teaching. Let me break it to you non-educators, though, that find yourselves saying "must be nice to be off that long" - WE AREN'T. This is a little known secret of teachers. Nevertheless, we all do our best to take time off and enjoy the time we get to ourselves to just be us - not Mrs. So-and-So.

The girls and I slept late most days, workout some days, cooked lots of days and enjoyed each other's company ALL days.

We all needed the bonding time and benefited so much from the time to just be and be together.

Then, we turn on the TV or see the newspaper ad: BACK TO SCHOOL

Ugh. Why?! No!

Nevertheless, it's the end of July and I've already been back to work part time 10 business days. Not to mention all the random meetings I had to throw in there before.

The Power Struggle?

I'm sure I'm not alone when I say that we all wish for something to happen in the future:

I can't wait til my kids go to bed w/out getting up a zillion times

I can't wait til my kids are able to cook for themselves

I can't wait til my kids do _____, ______ or ______

A quote that my friend, Andrea, posted on twitter recently has been imprinted on my mind for the past few weeks:

"Sometimes we wait and wait for God to move.

Then when He does, we protest that He's moving too fast." -Beth Moore

I have to stop myself and remember that things WILL move too fast. Life is short. I need to be living in the present and be happy with where we are when we're there.

Even if "there" is our small period of separation anxiety. We all get it. We miss each other like crazy when I have to be gone. They cling a little longer, kiss a little more, and are content just sitting next to me when I get home.

They never see me cry over this. But even as Maddie goes into 3rd grade, I cry. I miss them as much or more than they even know. I rethink this whole "work" thing and always try to come up with that million dollar idea that will land me time at home or the ability to travel with them. As you see, I'm still working on that.

So, for the next few weeks I will struggle with getting up, going to work, leaving the girls, and learning my own lessons. They will struggle to let go a little and learn to fly a little more.

You Deserve It

Here's what I love about the universe - you always get what you need when you need it. Usually we attract what is given to us, what we see, or what we hear. 

Don't believe me? Try being conscious for the next week. If I'm wrong, tell me. However, I'm confident that you'll hear something briefly on TV or the radio, someone will say or do something at just the right time; at the exact time that you need to hear it or receive it. 

I've talked before about one of my favorite authors, SQuire Rushnell. He has written a series of books called "When God Winks." His thought is that God "winks" at you through your everyday life if you'll just be aware enough to notice. 

This morning I woke up early and turned on the TV. It was on PBS. I never watch PBS unless Calliou is on and I'm with the girls. 

I gave it 5 seconds and was drawn in by this guy: http://www.drwaynedyer.com/

He wrote a book called "Excuses BeGone" and was inspired by books: 1. "Virus of the Mind" 2. "Biology of Belief"

He began talking about excuses that we all have for things that we want to happen: changing habits, starting a new career, moving, following a dream. . . .

Although, I'm not buying any of his products (products and ideas can mostly be found online),  I found myself not able to change the channel. Here is one of the thoughts that he shared that really made me stop and think:

I Don't Deserve It.

Happiness

Love

Acceptance

Success

Friendship

I actually just said this to myself yesterday: "What did I do to deserve to be so happy?"

Jason said to me, "Don't question God." 

I pondered on that thought all night and probably through my dreams. Then this morning here's this guy talking about the same thing. And he says "We are all from God. Why would God make such great creatures who are NOT deserving of all the above?" 

Ok, God. Point taken. 

God's Gifts

What a week and what gifts God brought! I did all that I'd planned on doing and more. We spent time at Six Flags and the zoo. The girls had a blast at Six Flags and I cannot wait to take them back as they get older. I don't think I've laughed that much in years.  (or spent that much money on a single corn dog.)

Maddie lost another tooth and Avy learned to write her name (sort of). I think they both went through a growth spurt. After buying Maddie shoes, I was shocked to find that she nows wears a 3. ?! When did that happen? Probably after she began eating everything in sight. :) 

My time off was healing and rejuvenating. Well, all except for those 3 hours it took to actually get into the zoo, but the time I spent on the porch reading, drinking coffee and talking with those I love the most made up for it. 

We finally started going back to church. Its always hard to readjust to life - the new normal. New friends, new churches, new routines......we all really like this church and love the positive attitudes we walk out with each week. I have decided to join the church as they do a Daniel fast for the next 21 days. No meats, breads, processed foods, fried, sugar, preservatives. Water and protein shakes. In addition, I am doing another body cleanse. Since last year, I try to do this once every 6 months. What a difference I feel each time and how clear my mind feels afterwards. I'm excited about refocusing and re-centering myself through the fast. Unlike times before, I'm pretty confident that I can do this one. I'm guessing you have to be mentally, spiritually, and physically ready. If your not, then it doesn't work. 

Another thing I've added this week is my reading of The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. Some of you might remember that I read his most recent book A New Earth last year. Such a controversial book and criticized by many who haven't even read the book. However,  I love that all the things he mentions are things I knew, but didn't really put into practice. Especially now, I realize that if we are not present; if we spent too much time in our minds thinking about the past or the future, we are wasting the gift of the moment. 

With that thought, I've decided to share with you something that my biggest girl wrote yesterday after church. When I was finished, I began thanking God for such an insightful little girl. She is such an old soul, so deep and thoughtful. She grasps so many concepts that many kids her age (or mine) don't surrender to at all. 

What is a gift? God gave you one God-given talent. My God-given talent is art. Everybody has a talent. That is what's special about them. Everybody has a word for the talent that they get. My word is artistic. The other gifts are the ones you can just have fun with. Art calms me down. Maybe other talents can calm you down. Did you know that a talent can turn into a dream? Did you know that a talent can change your life if you just use it wisely? 

There are no words......

Truthfully, this has been the most crazy emotional year of my life. I had a year like that once. The year we lost my brother. However, much of it is hazy and I know that all I really had to take care of was my own emotions. At eleven, that was a lot. Today, though, I realize after going through the emotional ups and downs of a divorce, I can tell you that this has been much more difficult simply because I've had two young girls to think of through it all. Their emotions can be all over the place and in combination with mine it can be tough to handle. It takes a lot of conscious living to make sure we all take in a deep breath and then remember to breathe out. There really are no words to truly describe it all and unless you've been there you really have no idea. 

There have been a handful of people that we've kept close to our hearts and to our sides that have helped tremendously through it all. As always, they know who they are and they know how much we love and appreciate them. For them, I will never have the words to thank them enough. Their love enveloped us like a great big giant hug. 

So, after a crazy year and finally feeling like my two feet are planted firmly on the ground, here I am. :) I've been through the trenches, dealt with the emotions, found a new hope, learned so much, and am ready to carry on. 

The funny thing about being divorced is that people tend to think that they are officialy crowned matchmakers. I'm definitely not one to go out and find dates, but PLEASE. :) It cracks me up. Friends and coworkers have tried to set me up with their sons, their friends, fellow single teachers and each time I just laugh. It seems that the matchmaking process is much more fun for others than it is the actual single person. I never have the words to tell these "kind" people that I'm really ok without their "help." 

Another odd thing about it all is getting used to the realities of you and your ex-spouse dating others. I definitely don't mind that the ex is dating. The girls didn't seem to mind it either. But now that a 2nd and 3rd girl have entered in the equation, they seem much more uninterested. We all actually really liked the first girl. Weird, right? No words again..........

The bottom line is for the first time in 32 years I feel that I know myself better than I ever have. I know I still have a lot to learn, but knowing what I want, need and deserve is a great compass for the future. Last week, I found an old journal from several years ago. In it I had listed about 15 qualities that I knew were priority to me in a relationship. This was so empowering to find and read. Writing helps me to think things through. When I think things through I find what is important to me and what I need out of life/friends/spouse/relationships.

This leads me to, finally, share with you one last thing that I cannot find the words for.....

To some it will seem too soon, for others it will seem it is a God-send, and some will never voice their opinion because they feel left out of the loop. I believe some parts of our lives are meant to be dealt with in private and once we've come through it all, we are really ready to share it in a different light.

We will call him J. J and I met through a mutual friend. It seemed that we were both closing the doors on something that was extremely important in our lives - me, one thing, him, another. We instantaneously became friends. There was a connection there that I will never be able to explain.  Only those that have experienced that kind of connection will be able to understand what I mean. Was it because we both had similar childhoods? Was it because we both could understand the disappointments that each other felt with friends, family, and people in our lives? Was it because we'd both been through similar experiences in relationships? Was it because we both had the same goals, beliefs, and motivations? For me, that connection has only happened with one or two people in my whole life. The connections cannot be explained, for there are no words. Words are limiting.

J does not live close and so for the first time in my life I was forced by circumstance to really get to know him. You know, talking and communicating....about everything. Jobs, friends, dreams, goals, family, marriage, children, challenges, hopes.....however, at first, I was very closed off from talking about what I was actually going through. I was closing off from most everyone, hence the no blogging era (July - now).

As our friendship grew, so did our respect and admiration for the other. See, I could sit with you one-on-one and tell you why my marriage failed - on both parts. I could also sit with you and tell you what has to be in a relationship in order for it to continue like it should. 

As time went on, J learned more and more about my situation. More about the girls. And the people in my small circle of trust began knowing more about J. The thing about him is that everyone in that circle loved him before even meeting him. And once they met him, well, the rest as they say is history. 

The girls have met him and love him. The ex has met him and believes that he genuinely loves the girls and I. The parents have met him and adore him. The best friends have given the thumbs up, as well. Finally, I understand the importance of the opinions of those closest to me. They know me better than I know myself sometimes and to know what they truly think is a great comfort.

I really wasn't looking for someone to take on such baggage. Actually, I didn't think there was anyone out there that could. J is different. I won't impend on our privacy, but I know he wouldn't mind me sharing what I have here.  

He is such a blessing in my life. He brings out the Tisha that was gone for so long. He makes all things easier to take on. He looks at me in a way that no one has ever looked at me before. He knows instinctively when I'm sad, anxious, or being mischievous. He is wonderful with the girls. He tunes into Maddie's emotional, artsy side and can turn around and be crazy with Avery. The girls have noticed that he makes me laugh all the time. They even pointed out that I am more fun now that J is around. (wow, I was that boring and stressed before?) We have the most fun no matter what we're doing ( moving, playing softball, grocery shopping, or playing hide and seek with the girls). 

I firmly believe that God brings people into our lives when we need them the most. He's done it once again, and once again, there are no words.........