I Hope You Dance.....

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance 


This has been my song to Maddie since she was a baby. I use to dance with her everyday to this song. 


She is my "old soul" daughter. Most times when we meet people, like today at the hospital, everyone comments on how mature she is for her age. She is mature. She is so perceptive and knowledgeable. She listens to everything and already teaches me so much. 


I've always believed that God puts people in your life purposefully. I think our children are no exception. Even though we are their parents, they are given to us as a gift. I try to remember this even when life can get busy and chaotic. If we take the time to look closely, we can see God through their words, actions, and love. 


Madison dreams big dreams and even copies my practice in creating a dream board (aka vision board).
I started this practice when she was about 3 or 4 and she sat down right along with me and created her own board. When we look back many of our dreams or hopes have actually happened: me meeting Harry Connick, Jr, her having a High School Musical Party, even down to the exact dining room table I have. At times I forget the power of our thoughts, words, and visions. 


Madison doesn't. She says that she will be an artist. She has said this for years. I even wrote a while back about the piece she wrote about "God given talent." She loves creating, drawing, coloring and teaching. She attended an art camp this summer and thrived. However, when I ask if she'd like to take an art class after school, her response was "No, mom. I don't want other people to tell me what to draw or how to draw." 


No argument from me. :) I don't want people to tell me what to dream or how to dream either. 


We discuss all the possibilities of her love for art: making and decorating cakes, being an architect, designing clothes, .......


I have an admiration for her that she may never know. I admire her love for everyone. I admire her giving nature. I admire her sense of humor. I admire her strength. I admire her artistic abilities. I admire her love for God and the ongoing conversations she tells me about having with Him. 


I adore her laugh, her smile, her hugs, and her ability to carry on a conversation with most adults. 


I hope that she is reminded of God's greatness. I hope that she continues to dream and keep them in sight. I hope that she will always remember that when doors close, many others open. I hope I have given her enough love, wisdom, and insightfulness that she will always choose to dance. 




Here's her art from this past week - she decided what and how.....

Control, God Winks, and Advice

Recently, I posted a quote from one of my new favorite pieces of literature, The Shack. 


"You're going to find this day a lot easier if you simply accept what is, instead of trying to fit it into your preconceived notions."



Not many people responded. As I thought to myself, I thought, maybe people don't really like giving up that control of life random chaos or their already set preconceptions. 

I know I didn't. 


It took me at least a month to get used to the idea of being pregnant again. Of course, Jason and I had discussed it and I knew we'd add to our family, but in my "plan" and my "timing."  I expected to make it a reality "later." Not that much later, just 6 months or so. I wanted time alone with Jason, time to be in my job, and time to just be. 


So, I'm not embarrassed to say that in the middle of everyone's excitement - it took me awhile to mentally get there. Ignorance is bliss and with Maddie, I had no idea how pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting would change my life, my heart, my mind and my spirit. With Avery, I had at least "been there, done that." 


After the announcement of our pregnancy (I say ours because it truly affects us all), I have finally been able to revel in the excitement with everyone else. Now in week 14/15, I have a lot more energy, not feeling as sick, and am able to do the day-to-day routine a lot better. 


But I will not lie. I am not the pregnant lady that will tell you "this is the best I've felt my whole life" or "it was my favorite time in my life." Yes, I realize the blessing; yes, I know what a miracle the whole process is, however, as a semi-control freak with day-to-day operations in my life, it puts a damper on what I can do, what I can eat, etc. I know after 2 what happens to my body, what physical limitations are put on me, how difficult recovery can be, life with a newborn, and so on. 


My mind has finally caught up to what is. 
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I've written about God Winks before. I've even discussed how I was included in SQuire Rushnell's second God Wink book. What an honor that was: talking with him, meeting him, and still corresponding with him. I love the message he conveys in his book and enjoy reading such heartwarming stories about other people who have had "god winks." 


As I've said before, I DO NOT believe in coincidences. It wasn't a coincidence that in my time of panic about the pregnancy that The Shack kept popping up in conversation, in ads, on peoples coffee tables, and in the grocery store. Finally, after about the 7th incident, I threw the book in my cart, looked up and said "Fine." 


Little did I know the healing and the attitude adjustment that it would give me. After putting it down, I said "Tisha, you must stop being so arrogant. His plan goes far and wide." His plans are always much wider and farther than we ever can imagine or see. 

So, presently I'm reading The Alchemist. Like The Shack, it has continually popped up over several years and when I saw it on the shelf, I decided to go with it. It's a fable about a shephard boy finally realizing his dream and following it to find and fulfill his purpose. 


"God has prepared a path for everyone to follow. You just have to read the sign [omens, god winks] that He left for you."


It reminds me so much of the work I've put into my book. I know that the book has a purpose, even if it is just for my girls to have and use during those difficult times in their own lives. 


I must see it through to the end. 
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Today, I began discussing both books and my struggle with my mind catching up with what is and how I've been working on my own book (dream, journey).  As I said that, Madison's former teacher sat across from me and said "I heard/saw a guy today talking about God winks." 


What!? You mean SQuire?


I began sharing with her my knowing SQuire, being in the book and some of the god winks in my own life. It was nice to share a little god wink of our own! 


Funny that today, I sat down to respond to his Facebook message. In it he was giving me advice on what paths to pursue once I finish my own book.  One of the things he said to me was this: 


"Unless YOU get it out of the store...no one else will." 


We have to let go of the control from the things we cannot change, but we must seize those that we can. 


I love this piece of advice because it could be said for everything in life: 
dreams
love
relationships
jobs
attitudes
struggles


Unless WE put the work into it, no one else will and we will never see what can be. 

You Deserve It

Here's what I love about the universe - you always get what you need when you need it. Usually we attract what is given to us, what we see, or what we hear. 

Don't believe me? Try being conscious for the next week. If I'm wrong, tell me. However, I'm confident that you'll hear something briefly on TV or the radio, someone will say or do something at just the right time; at the exact time that you need to hear it or receive it. 

I've talked before about one of my favorite authors, SQuire Rushnell. He has written a series of books called "When God Winks." His thought is that God "winks" at you through your everyday life if you'll just be aware enough to notice. 

This morning I woke up early and turned on the TV. It was on PBS. I never watch PBS unless Calliou is on and I'm with the girls. 

I gave it 5 seconds and was drawn in by this guy: http://www.drwaynedyer.com/

He wrote a book called "Excuses BeGone" and was inspired by books: 1. "Virus of the Mind" 2. "Biology of Belief"

He began talking about excuses that we all have for things that we want to happen: changing habits, starting a new career, moving, following a dream. . . .

Although, I'm not buying any of his products (products and ideas can mostly be found online),  I found myself not able to change the channel. Here is one of the thoughts that he shared that really made me stop and think:

I Don't Deserve It.

Happiness

Love

Acceptance

Success

Friendship

I actually just said this to myself yesterday: "What did I do to deserve to be so happy?"

Jason said to me, "Don't question God." 

I pondered on that thought all night and probably through my dreams. Then this morning here's this guy talking about the same thing. And he says "We are all from God. Why would God make such great creatures who are NOT deserving of all the above?" 

Ok, God. Point taken.