Conversations with a 4 year old

I don't think anyone could ever imagine a conversation with Avery unless you actually have had one before. 

Here are some funny things she's conversed with us about lately: 

Me: If you don't do what I asked on the 2nd time, you'll go back to "time out." 

Avery: That's ok! I like time-out! 

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Avery: Bubba (Jace) is growing. 

Me: Yes, he is. 

Avery: Let me see your belly button. (I do)

Avery: Mamacita! Your belly button looks crazy! 

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Me: "Maddie! The game is on!" 

Avery: Maddie isn't coming like she said she would. 

Me: It's ok, she doesn't really like sports anyway.

Avery: She is NOT minding. 

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Me: Avery, you really should do your Valentine cards for preschool. Do you want to do that tonight?

Avery: No. 

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Avery: Papi, no matter what you think I'm still a girl. 

Jason: You act like a boy. 

Avery: No, I'm a woman. 

Jason: Stop crying like a little girl, then. 

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Scene: Evil black cat creeping around the corner. 

Avery pulls out her Webkinz kitty. She pokes it out and says "Meow." Evil black cat runs away. 

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Avery: Papi! Papi! Lift me up and exercise. (Jason bench presses her)

Avery: Do it again! Do it again!

Avery: I'm gonna wrestle you for a week. 

Jason: No, fool. We need to take a break. 
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Waitress: How's the food?
Me: Great! 
Avery: This macaroni and cheese tastes weird. I don't like it. 
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After burning her mouth from hot chocolate delivered by a new waiter instead of our regular waitress, she cried. 
Me: Calm down. I put ice in your cup to cool it off. 
Avery: I am NEVER come back to this place again. 

___________________________

Avery: I smell something. 

Jason: It's your upper lip. 

Avery: No, it's YOUR upper lip. 

___________________________

Avery: Is today-tomorrow preschool? 

Me: Tomorrow you go to preschool, yes. 

Avery: Today-tomorrow? 

Me: Yes, tomorrow.

Avery: Today-tomorrow when I wake up. 

Me: YES. 

___________________________

These conversations are non-stop all day everyday.........Needless to say it's an adventure with her no matter what we are doing and she can always find something silly to laugh about, which is a daily reminder for us to not take life so seriously! 

She's Got A Way

She's got a way about her

She's got a way about her
I don't know what it is
But I know that I can't live without her

She's got a way of pleasin'
I don't know what it is
But there doesn't have to be a reason
Anyway

She's got a smile that heals me
I don't know why it is
But I have to laugh when she reveals me

She's got a way of talkin'
I don't know what it is
But it lifts me up when we are walkin'
Anywhere

She comes to me when I'm feelin' down
Inspires me without a sound
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Ah, Avery. The child that had I had her first would be an only child. I say that out of a lot of love and a lot of expelled energy. 

I always love to tell of how when I was pregnant with her I was still running at 5 months, eating right, avoiding all the things I was suppose to, only eating the things that I knew were good for both of us. 
She was energetic the whole time, and during labor, I was busy talking about the Mavs in the playoffs. Days later, I was already back to my workout regimen and feeling great. Easy peasy. 

However, after 4 1/2 years with her, she has been the one who makes me cry the most and laugh the most. Probably because she is just like me. 

I see it on a daily basis and just today told her that there wasn't enough space for two of us. You may laugh, but the two of us wear me out and Jason and Maddie I'm sure. 

Maddie definitely puts up with a lot of drama when Avery is around. Just today at the dr while Maddie sounded as if she'd cough up a lung any minute, she politely asked to leave the room and wait outside while Avery got her 5 shots. Good call. Took 3 of us holding her down and it's a wonder one of us didn't leave deaf. That girl has got a set of lungs on her. 

I've decided to document some of her funniest moments, phrases and words here, mostly for myself but also just to make you laugh during a week where so many have been sick. 


Preschool

 Avery is in her 2nd year of preschool. She loved it last year, but this year we've had a different encounter. Starting about 2 weeks ago, I started getting little notes in her folder from her teacher about how "Avery isn't finishing her work" "Avery is the last one finishing" "Avery stopped coloring because she said her hand was tired" ....and so on. So, after these little notes, I went to the store, bought a few preschool books, crayons, white board markers, and some scissors. We do a page a day and work on the small things - finishing the page. 


About a week ago, while dropping Maddie off at school, I asked Avery "Tomorrow is preschool are you going to be good?" In the rear view mirror I see her shake her head no. 


"No?"
"I mean yes, mama. I'll be good." 
"Will you finish your work?"
"Yes"

A few minutes go by...

"I don't like preschool."
"Why, Avery?"
"It's hard work and I'm already sick of it." 


The next day I pick her up, check her folder and see that she only colored the roof of a barn black. The rest was as it was given to her. 


"Avery, why didn't you finish coloring your barn?'
"I did."
"It's white." 
"Just the other day we passed a white barn with a black roof." 

Looks like I couldn't argue with that. 


So, this past week I get an e-mail from her teacher. 


I love her sense of humor. She tells little stories and says her sister cracks her up. 


Well, at least I didn't make up that she is funny. I'm just hoping that her stories are TRUE. She'll still tell you point blank that she doesn't like preschool and IS NOT going to kindergarten.

Doctor Vists
She is the child that I wait until the very last minute to tell about ANY doctor visit.

The dentist trip was a disaster because I mistakenly took her for Madison and told her a day in advance that she was going. She cried the entire way there because she didn't want them to take pictures (xrays). Thank goodness she wasn't due for them on this visit. That didn't make it any easier, though. She wrestled us just getting in the chair. These dentists don't mess around: they have DVD players, wireless headphones and TV screens on the ceiling; game room, stickers, and prizes. We left with no tears and hopefully an easier visit for next time.

Last week we went to the dr. just to make sure she wasn't sickly. I didn't tell her until we drove up to the dr's office. She asked me the whole way there:

"Where are we going, mama?"
"Oh, just for a little drive." 
"Where?"
"it will be fine. I promise."

I had to talk her out of the car and still she went in with tears left on her face. They promised her no shots on that visit. She was a big girl even during the strep test.

Today was a little different story, though. I told her that they were only going to weigh her and check her ears.

"Are you sure that's all they're going to do?"
"I think." 
"Are they giving me a shot?" 
"I don't think so." 
"TELL THEM, MAMA. TELL THEM NO SHOTS!"
"Ok. I'll tell them." 

Upon entering and check in, she immediately tells them she doesn't want a shot. The nurse just nods and smiles. The receptionist calls me back over and says "She's getting 4 shots today. 5 if we do the flu shot."

I knew this, but never promised she wouldn't get a shot. Just that I would tell them she didn't want them. Ah, the fun of parenting different children.

They call us back, she hesitates with weight, eye check, and height. We get in the room and she's already crying. Good thing I brought reinforcements (aka Jason) with me.

After Maddie was finished, I sent her out to get her school note.  Avery looks at me and says -

"Why am I still sitting up here if they are done with me?" 
"Am I done?" 
"Are we going home now?" 
"I'm still sitting here, mama."

Her dr who has been their dr since both of their births, looked at us and said "She's too smart for her own good." 

I will spare you the details of getting 5 shots, but it wasn't pretty and the 3 of us were almost in tears when it was over. 

Good news: She is done until she is 12! And since the shot is why she was refusing kindergarten, she says she's ready for it now! 
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I leave you with some of her funniest phrases lately:

*Unspickable (dispicable like on Looney Tunes.) You are unspickable, Jason. 
*Cracking smoke ( rearranged from my phrase smoking crack) Mom, Maddie is cracking smoke again. 
*Memember (remember) Memember when I was little I use to call lotion sasa?
*Avery-ham lincoln (Abraham Lincoln) Avery-ham Lincoln is on the penny!
*Would you please teach me karate (
*I can't stop breathing (Jason responds "Good. You're not suppose to!")
*Don't be mean to your children (anytime I make her mind or tell her no)
*I heard lightening. I knew there was storm. Get out the glow sticks! (she actually watches the weather)


No matter what is going on around me, whatever stress or struggle that is happening, she always makes me smile and reminds me that life can be fun all the time. :) 

Avery- ham Lincoln

Here's some fun news for this week: 

In preschool, both girls began studying about the presidents with focus on George Washington and Abraham Lincoln . Their teachers always taught them a cute little song about how parents these days don't dress like those crazy presidents did. 

So, a few weeks ago when the girls woke up we were watching Good Morning America. (yeah, i like ABC and so if they want to stay in my room they know they have to be game to watch it with me. Ok, so anyway . . .GMA was discussing something about the presidents. 

Avery looked at me and said "Remember that guy I colored at preschool?"

 I said "Which guy?!" 

 "Avery-ham Lincoln." 

"OH! You mean Abraham Lincoln!"

"No, mama! It's Avery-ham!" 

"Ok, Avery." :) 

My Avery-ham will turn 4 on the 24th (Friday). I cannot believe that 4 years ago I was in labor with her watching the Pope's funeral and discussing the Mavericks in the playoffs with my dr during post delivery. 

She was such a good, calm, baby. Well, most of the time. I remember that one night (ha - I'm sure there were many more) that I had only 2 hrs of sleep. I was sitting on the couch holding her, flipping through the TV channels, crying, just wanting someone to come rescue me. Or at least have them allow me an hour of uninterrupted sleep. 

As she grew into the preschooler she is now, I've learned so much about her personality and about myself as her mom. 

In traditional fashion, just as I have honored her being a year older before,  I'm honoring her with this blog today. 

 - She loves running. She runs everywhere. I even had to buy her NIKE shoes so that she would have less chance of falling. 

- She just learned to peel Clementine oranges. She thinks she sooo big. ;) 

- She hates for me to comb her hair in the mornings. Often she goes to the babysitter just as she woke up. 

- She is not afraid to say what she thinks - no matter who it is about or who is around. 

- She prefers Diego over Dora. 

- The kid lives on pasta and bologna. Seriously. 

- She loves music. Sings all the time. Makes up dances and shakes her "bootay" anytime she hears a song. 

- She has this knack for talking with accents. British accents are her specialty still. "Can I get the tangos (tangles) out of your hair?" 

- She likes to add "baby" behind everyone's name. Everyone. 

- She recently loves praying. She can pray a deep prayer that would put anyone in their place. "Mama, God always does what He says." 

- She can recite Madagascar 2 to you at the drop of a hat. She loves saying "I like 'em big, I like 'em chunky, I like 'em round." 

I once said that she was the funniest person I know and it still holds true to this day. She has such a big heart and bright eyes and such an outgoing personality when you get to know her. 

She has enriched my life in so many ways and I'm so thankful for her everyday! I'm so glad that I get to be her mama-baby. :)

Happy  4th Birthday, Avery-ham! 

Red Light Stop

Haven't we all been going somewhere only to find ourselves sitting at the never-ending red light? 

Today, I found myself sitting at the only red light in town with 3 minutes to get to the one HS class I teach that was about 4 miles on the other side of town. It seemed to last longer than ever. Typical. 

But something happened while I was sitting at that light. I realized that God has His ways of making us stop and breathe. I was forced to take a much needed emotional breath. My day has been crazy. Avery went to preschool crying. Then, her teacher told me that she has had bouts of sporadical crying for the past month. (why she didn't feel the need to tell me, I have no idea)

And my job. I love my job, don't get me wrong. It's the best job I've ever had. (don't gag, it's the truth) However, some days are a bit overwhelming. Each hour I usually have appointments of some sort: with individual teachers, with classrooms of elementary students, with administrators or with a random person who catches me in the hall and has a technology "emergency." 

2 days before Spring Break and all I can think is "Who cares about spring?" "GIVE ME THE BREAK!" I like to think that God has a sense of humor. Hence, the red light. :) 

I'm tired of checking the time, the calendar, my schedule. For the next 9 days, I want to live life w/out being at someone's beck and call. I don't want to travel the entire time and find myself burnt out more than before. I desperately need to sleep late, sit outside with a cup of coffee, blog a bit more, write more of my book, color with the girls, and see where the day takes us. I wish that we all could be forced to take a "spring break." I think our society would benefit from the time off. Why does the break only happen during school/college? Someone seriously needs to study this and figure up the results. 

Anyhoo. . . . it turns out that the red light also helped me in another way. 1 mile after I turned at said red light, I passed a nice police car. Whew! *sigh* 

Hang on to Your.......

*sigh* Well, I'm back. I can't believe it either. With the approach of Spring and the newness of things around me, I feel rejuvenated, recovered, and remarkable. I'm ready. Ready for blogging. I've been gone a long time. Such is life. A new chapter begins and I'm ready to get back on the bandwagon and take this journey on.....

I'm still speaking soundly. 

But for today and for the beginning of your weekend, here's a funny little mommy story for you. 

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Avery has been going to preschool every T/Th since September. Each week they study a letter of the alphabet and each Thursday they bring a show and tell item that begins with that letter. Being a single mom of 2 little girls has it's challenges and so more often than not, we do not get to school with the show and tell of the week. 

This week was "U." Avery colored a beautiful version of an umbrella. Her coloring is such an improvement since Letter D. Her dog just wasn't what I expected. ;) 

So, we get home and she unloads her backpack with her cola dyed egg, her folder, and her lunchbox. I read her folder and her teacher left a nice note "We had a great day! Cute show and tell!" 

WHAT SHOW AND TELL?!?!? I barely made it out of the house with everyone in the car. 

I ask Avery - "What did you take for show and tell?"

Avery - "Underwear" (so matter of factly)

Me - "Where did you get the underwear?" (fearful of this answer)

Avery - "From my backpack." (If only I'd known she'd be showing these to her whole school, I might've made a point to send a NEW pair.)

LMAO! I always keep an extra pair of panties in her backpack in case of accidents. Apparently she's been use to this for quite some time. In typical Avery fashion, she's always prepared and flies by the seat of her pants. . . . .or panties.............